I want to and then I don't....

Hey, it's been a while since my last update. Strange I thought I would be writing on here a lot but it seems that FB groups have helped me stay on track.  I also joined www.myfitnesspal.com and dropped my Weight watchers membership and have lost a grand total of 20 lbs in 12 weeks! My ultimate goal is to drop 2 lbs a week, but with the holidays and such I count it a great success to be down 20! 

It's been a rough few weeks.  First I got sick after Thanksgiving and then finally started to kick that and got so incredibly exhausted. Well a week or so later I figured out it was hormonal and that my TOM was around the corner.  Do you ever have really bad TOM where you are so exhausted and grouchy?  I get those every so often.  Well, then the holiday stress came about (still PMSing) and was a major stress monkey.  I tried on multiple occasions via online and in stores to find gifts for my family back home in Kansas but just wasn't having any luck finding what I wanted or even finding anything that was totally "them". So I spent the last week before Christmas rushing to send it in time. I paid a lot of $$ to ship and USPS still didn't get it there until....cough, cough...sometime today!

Anyway, this post is about the fact that I am overjoyed at my weight loss and I am motivated to kick it in to high gear, but sometimes I just feel so "bleh"..I think it is the fact that if you get out of the habit, you find it hard to get back into it.   I overindulged about 2 days this week, Christmas eve and Christmas day.  I logged those days, but haven't logged since. Today is the first day back logging on www.myfitnesspal.com and honestly I am struggling with cravings.  I think once you let the sugar in, you find it hard to get it out and want more! I definitely want more!!! But alas, no bad in my house thankfully!!!

My new year's goal is to exercise more!  It feels soooo great to not have that dreaded "gonna start this time"...I have already started! Woot!  It's a great feeling to know I am on my journey and I have made progress!  Sticking to it will be my "New year's resolution"..but even that doesn't feel too challenging...because I am so excited to get going!

Update! Almost 20 lbs down!

I am thrilled to say that I am only a couple pounds from losing 20 pounds.  I probably would have been at my goal of 20 lbs lost by now, but I had 2 weeks of no loss which was during my time of the month (TOM).  There was also thanksgiving, I ate what I wanted.  I ended up losing the following week.  The last two weeks I haven't done much exercising, but I have been eating my calories and stayed within my goal or just a little over a couple of days!  I am happy the scale is going down, but it feels like such a very long journey!!!

I think the best thing is hearing my husband encourage me and say he can tell that I am losing!  I am still in just the early stages of the journey.  Anyone who has known me the last 4 years probably won't see a big change yet.  Because, my weight has hoovered in the 250-270's all these past 4 years.  My lowest weight was 220ish when I first met Philip.  SOOOO my big celebrating moment will come when the scale says 219...because that will be the smallest my husband has ever physically seen me in person!!!  He has seen my high school pictures, but I will be thrilled to show him a smaller me in person!  Wow, something to work towards! Even though that is still a while to go !! (roughly 47.8 additional pounds ) But it is a very attainable goal in the next year.